I remember vividly the moment between full days of content creation and announcing to the world that I had this content to share… for a price. It was emotional. It was vulnerable. There was a split-second before I hit “Enter,” my heart pounding, that I thought back to past creative projects that had proven lackluster. I thought back to the friends whom I thought would find value in my work who averted their social-media gaze and avoided me like the plague. Was I ready to go through this again?
My intention with this post isn’t to make you feel guilty for not financially supporting my creative endeavors. Promise! Instead, I want those of you who are hesitant to allow vulnerability into your lives to find the inner strength necessary to shepherd your unique gift into the world.
The Internet is big, and it’s hard to find the perfect target audience without throwing a ton of money at targeted online ads. I currently stand at one paid patron, and Patreon says that I should expect many patrons to drop off while new ones find my work. At what point do I throw in the towel and accept that nobody wants what I’m offering? The silence of non-interest echoes far louder than direct rejection.
To be honest, I almost didn’t start my Patreon, because I was afraid that the world was completely uninterested in social-emotional learning through tabletop roleplaying games.
Why this fear feels so big
The stakes are high for me this go-round. Rather than hiding behind a clever brand name that I’ve created, I am the brand. There’s no hiding the fact that this Patreon content comes from Mark Ezra Stokes—the only Mark Ezra Stokes in the world (I checked). This content is about as intimate as it gets, dealing with and regulating raw emotions in real-time.
Whenever we see an online business or product launch, we often envy how bold and confident that person is throughout that process, but that’s usually a facade. Most creators that I know who have launched campaigns—whether successful or not—reveal privately how absolutely terrified they are of the whole process. It really affects the ego in unhealthy ways: If you’re successful with your launch, it can inflate your perceived worth to a larger-than-life status, causing you to look down on mere mortals over time. If you’re unsuccessful, your ego often perceives it as a personal attack and condemnation of your worth.
Patreon has the potential of really helping creators pay the bills so they can continue to create with less distractions. Beyond the commerce side, though, Patreon is all about connection. When that connection doesn’t happen immediately, in the silence as the fruits of your hard work gather dust, that’s a scary, vulnerable feeling.
What helped me push through
Here I am, though, a year and three months into my journey, and I still feel confident in my decision to start a Patreon. What helped me push through was to really search for the point of convergence between my skill set, my passions and my life’s trajectory. SEL-infused TTRPG content was that convergence. I’m a teacher most of the year, so I had about five really ambitious projects I had planned to accomplish during the summer. Gradually, as I analyzed each project, other good ideas fell by the wayside. For some projects, the timing wasn’t right. For others, my heart wasn’t in it as much as my ego thought I would look admirable for doing it. Other projects had great, timely intentions behind them, but the vehicle of delivery wasn’t aligned with my voice.
With the Patreon idea, it wasn’t just about launching a product. It was about making a path visible for others to follow. I could easily lament how much callousness and sociopathic self-interest was spreading in the world, and I could feel justified in doing so. I mean, who am I to try going up against systemic selfishness? When I thought back to my point of convergence, though, I realized that there was something I could do. I could combat the selfishness epidemic with empathy.
I had to accept that my output might not look so polished at first. I’m no graphic designer, and my sense of style involves the same pair of pants with a different Goodwill fishing shirt. What matters most is that I’m learning to consistently show up, even when imperfect. That sentence merits an entire blog post of its own. Flaws can be forgiven, though I work really hard to try catching them before publication.There is lasting power in proving oneself reliable.
Why sharing matters anyway
Still, there’s a lonely, vulnerable feeling about shouting what matters to you into a void.
If only 16 people show up (15 of which aren’t paying), that means your voice is still rippling outward. You’re documenting a way of thinking, dreaming, and building—and that documentation has value. Creating out loud reshapes culture, and it almost always starts with tiny ripples. You don’t need anyone’s permission to make a dent in the Universe. What you do need is the consistency to share your voice when it feels like no one is listening. That’s particularly tough starting out on Patreon, because you can see that literally no one is listening when your work is behind a paywall and your patron count is zero.
The power of bundled creative output
One thing that is propelling me forward is the notion that my most important content won’t just be presented to the world and potentially be forgotten. Nearly everything I create has the potential to see new life in the future through the power of bundling. What creative product that exists on its own could also be incorporated into a collection of similar products for a new audience to experience? What happens when I have hundreds of pages worth of TTRPG modules or hundreds of d20 tables? Then, I have content that could, perhaps, be bundled into its own book.
Seeing one’s creative work as reusable builds momentum in your creative journey. It also creates perceived value, because it offers another way to experience your work that an audience might find appealing. As you bundle your creative work, it allows patrons to step into your world and not just experience a single product.
Rather than simply bundling all the drawings you’ve created on Patreon, think of how to organize your work thematically. What if you bundled the drawings by genre, or what if you sold a bundle of your portrait drawings in one book and a bundle of landscape drawings in another? If you plan what you’re going to share with the world 2-to-3 months ahead, you can drop the content in planned groups. Think of your creative content as individual bricks. Together, what sort of structures can you create that your target audience might find appealing?
Tips for other creators feeling the fear
Simon Sinek created a viral Ted Talk called “Start With Why?” that later inspired a book of the same name. As a content creator, why are you creating content? Contemplate your answer. Analyze it. Make sure it rings true. If it doesn’t, dig deeper. Do you want to feel worth? Are you afraid you won’t be able to pay the bills? Do you feel like your perspective can bring genuine value to others? Be honest with yourself, and once you’ve got your specific why, write it down and read it back to yourself before every post. Maybe hang it somewhere in your sight line in your workspace.
Map out what your minimum viable launch will look like. Remember that you can always scale later. No one’s expecting you to start out with 12 different Patreon tiers and a merch store. You’re simply establishing what you’re selling, how the audience can engage with you, and what they can expect in the future. That’s it. You’re simply opening the door.
For my Patreon’s minimum viable launch, I decided that I needed at least a month’s worth of tiered content polished and ready to go. I also wanted to have an outline for the entire year’s content, and I wanted drafts of as much of that content as I could before school started back. I decided to preload four different pieces of content that would already be on my site at the start of the first month so that early adopters could see the variety of my offerings and decide whether to stick around.
Any product launch will likely be quiet at first, and that’s okay. Be kind to yourself in this quiet period. Silence is often a sign of simmering and not failure. Use this time to center yourself and to generate more content. Once the audience rolls in, you may not have this level of stillness again. Take advantage of it! (One great resource on the value of quiet moments is Ryan Holiday’s Stillness Is The Key, one of three great books of Holiday’s that I’d recommend to anyone trying to mentally prepare for potential success or failure.)
As you’re measuring the growth of your project, measure it by output and not applause. How much creative content have you generated? How much more could you generate this week? Set specific goals, and celebrate when you meet them (quickly forgiving yourself when you don’t). You can’t control what a potential patron will or won’t want from you, but you can control your output. Put your energy where it’s going to make the most difference!
Throughout the creative process, think of what the future version of yourself would be proud of bundling together. Sitting down and creating a War & Peace-sized novel might seem daunting, but if you start out by creating interesting character sketches, scenes between your characters, and timelines of what’s going on in the background of the story, you can get to that novel eventually. Create the individual bricks to build that massive monument.
The bravery is the message
The people who change the world are simply those who create something meaningful in front of others. That’s always how it starts. If you’re feeling that call to be creative and to share it, do it with reverence and never with apology. Regardless of whether two people or 2,000 show up, the work you’re doing is a seed that might sprout into something unexpectedly beautiful.
If you’re on Patreon and your patron count isn’t what you want it to be, remember this:
You’re not waiting to be chosen. You’re choosing to show up. And that’s enough.
You may not realize it, but your support is a quiet kind of courage, too. In backing this project, you’re doing more than simply helping me fight the fear of launching into silence. You’re lighting the way for others to believe their voice matters.
A note of thanks to my Tier 3 patron
To my sole patron in The Worldshaper tier—thank you.
You may not realize it, but your support is a quiet kind of courage, too. In backing this project on Patreon, you’re doing more than simply helping me fight the fear of launching into silence. You’re lighting the way for others to believe their voice matters.
Your presence proves that creating out loud is worth it. Thank you for helping me keep the torch burning.
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