Today is a big milestone birthday for my beautiful wife, Kasey, and it provides a great opportunity to reflect on those who build us up.
I first locked eyes with Kasey’s deep mahogany pools back in middle school, so I find it reassuring that she knew me in all my teen awkwardness and cringeworthy self-righteousness. She knew that me and she saw my worth. She still saw my potential.
When we find those willing to build us up, those are the people worth keeping in our lives. When we find those who don’t just overlook our flaws but value and accept us in the midst of those flaws, those are the ones to hold onto. Kasey is such a person.
Though it’s easy to get intoxicated by the freely-given, unconditional love of our support community, it’s also important to reciprocate that love. Such reciprocated love can appear in the form of kind and meticulously-chosen words that build them up, or it could be something as mundane as doing the dishes or cleaning the floors when those tasks need to be done.
I’m sure many of you are familiar with Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, as many of its concepts have bled into pop culture. The quicker we can pick up on which ways those who build us up express love, the more fully we can express our love and appreciation for them. (The Five Love Languages, as Chapman defines them, are words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service & physical touch.)
I’m fortunate in that I’m married to both my biggest cheerleader and my steady source of accountability. Not everybody has that. If you’re an introvert like me, it’s easy to overlook the need for external help, but doing so would significantly hinder your potential growth.
This week, in honor of my not-so-secret weapon gracefully turning another decade older, seek out those who would build you up. You don’t have to marry them (though it could be worth it), but keep them in your life. Make it a habit to build them up as well. These are the people who can enrich our lives, and they deserve every good thing that comes their way.
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